Tongue Tied @ 30,000 feet
One thing I hate is that I don't have superpowers. And since I don't have superpowers I have to travel with the rest of you normies i.e. on a plane!
I was flying on a Kingfisher Airlines plane this time. 3 out of the six people who read this mess know why most people prefer to fly Kingfisher airlines. It isn't because of their "In-Flight-Entertainment System", it isn't because the leg-space is 2 inches more than what you get on other airlines, it isn't because the plane's all colourful. It's because the flight attendants are stacked and are usually pretty darn cute! For the average male... and let's face it folks... no matter how educated, how refined, how high society, how intellectual a man might be... there's a little bit of that average neanderthal-want-to-fuck-everything-in-sight in EVERY man. Every man is lowered to that level when faced with a pretty girl. Something in our head goes KABLOOEY and in some way we have an odd reaction.
For me this reaction results in my tongue getting dislodged from my brain and operating indepently on it's own. This usually ends up with me... well.. you decide for yourself this time.
The cute stewardess is coming towards my seat with a drinks tray. 15 seconds prior to her arriving at my seat my tongue became free from my brain and it decided to say something witty and charming.
Stewardess : Would you like a drink sir?
Tongue : Hi. I'd like the black stuff. ("confident" voice)
Stewardess : Excuse me sir?
Tongue : I'd like to have the black stuff.... whatever it is... ("sexy" voice)
Stewardess : Excuse me sir?
Tongue : ..... I'd like to have the black stuff. ("nervous" voice)
Stewardess : Excuse me sir?
Lady Sitting next to me : I think he wants the Pepsi...
Stewardess : Oh. Here you go sir.
Tongue : (without any sound coming out of my mouth) thank you
Aaaaaand then the tongue reattached to my brain and the horrible embarassment of this interaction hit me. I drank my "black stuff" quietly and or fear of engaging in anymore of these kind of "conversations", never took my ipod headphones off my ears... even after the batteries gave out. I mimed listening to music on it for twenty minutes.
Playlist for this embarrasing horrificness :
Misc. bits by George Carlin, David Cross, Monty Python, Dave Atell, Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks and Patton Oswalt.
I was flying on a Kingfisher Airlines plane this time. 3 out of the six people who read this mess know why most people prefer to fly Kingfisher airlines. It isn't because of their "In-Flight-Entertainment System", it isn't because the leg-space is 2 inches more than what you get on other airlines, it isn't because the plane's all colourful. It's because the flight attendants are stacked and are usually pretty darn cute! For the average male... and let's face it folks... no matter how educated, how refined, how high society, how intellectual a man might be... there's a little bit of that average neanderthal-want-to-fuck-everything-in-sight in EVERY man. Every man is lowered to that level when faced with a pretty girl. Something in our head goes KABLOOEY and in some way we have an odd reaction.
For me this reaction results in my tongue getting dislodged from my brain and operating indepently on it's own. This usually ends up with me... well.. you decide for yourself this time.
The cute stewardess is coming towards my seat with a drinks tray. 15 seconds prior to her arriving at my seat my tongue became free from my brain and it decided to say something witty and charming.
Stewardess : Would you like a drink sir?
Tongue : Hi. I'd like the black stuff. ("confident" voice)
Stewardess : Excuse me sir?
Tongue : I'd like to have the black stuff.... whatever it is... ("sexy" voice)
Stewardess : Excuse me sir?
Tongue : ..... I'd like to have the black stuff. ("nervous" voice)
Stewardess : Excuse me sir?
Lady Sitting next to me : I think he wants the Pepsi...
Stewardess : Oh. Here you go sir.
Tongue : (without any sound coming out of my mouth) thank you
Aaaaaand then the tongue reattached to my brain and the horrible embarassment of this interaction hit me. I drank my "black stuff" quietly and or fear of engaging in anymore of these kind of "conversations", never took my ipod headphones off my ears... even after the batteries gave out. I mimed listening to music on it for twenty minutes.
Playlist for this embarrasing horrificness :
Misc. bits by George Carlin, David Cross, Monty Python, Dave Atell, Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks and Patton Oswalt.
Labels: My Sad Pathetic Life.
posted by Concerned at 1:52 AM
3 Comments:
The black stuff? WTF is that supposed to mean? If you were in America, that chick probably would've thought you had made a threat on her life.
It's Ok.
I'm not surprised... I didnt expect you'd even be able to communicate whatever little you did.
Anyway, this has inspired a new blog post at least in my mind about Saloni - the 1st kingfisher chick i met!
I loouve you Saloni !!!
What if you had been offered pina colada, would you ask for the "white stuff" then...?
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